The 3-days-2-nights Easter camping was too memorable. I felt honored not only to be able to join, but to be part of the organizing team. I also experienced many new things which I had never tried before. I could feel God’s presence dwelling among me. And God’s grace is sufficient enough for us to conquer all hindrances and successfully finished everything we had prepared for the camp. I was grateful too that our church is truly a church of love! Seeing there is mutual tolerance, encouragement and comfort among brothers and sisters (from young to old), how wonderful is it!

I felt honored to be able to dance for God. I thanked God for giving me the courage to overcome what I thought I could never do! Thank God for allowing me to dance freely for Him!!!

I was most grateful that God miraculously and completely heal my right hand through dancing! More than half year ago, my right hand got hurt and it was still painful until a month ago. At the beginning, the pain was too severe that I couldn’t do normal things like brushing teeth, taking a bath, changing clothes and writing. Sometimes it’s too painful that I cried.  I went to see doctors several times. The last doctor I saw told me that it’s not extremely serious (after examining the x-ray) but he said if I wanted my right hand to be completely heal and function normally as my left hand, I need to do hand movements and exercise daily.  But since I was lazy, I didn’t do it everyday. I also shared with my sisters from the church and they had prayed for me too. The pain had indeed reduced but I knew that it’s not yet fully recovered.

Then last month, a sister invited me to join her in the dancing session for the Easter camping. I agreed right away since I was interested. But then I remembered my right hand was injured and couldn’t do any turning movements of the right hand, especially we would be using flags. However, it’s amazing how I didn’t feel any pain at all when we started practicing. Then until the day itself when we presented at the camp, I actually had forgotten the fact that my right hand was supposed to be in pain. Not until another sister shared her testimony of how God healed her waist through the dancing session, I wouldn’t remember my own case! God just miraculously heal my right hand through dancing, so that I could wave the flags with all my strength and dance with all my heart! God is indeed good all the time! I would praise Him forever and ever!

For the past month, I kept recalling all the things that happened in 2011 and there were so many good memories. What I was most grateful for was to receive Jesus Christ’s salvation. I was lost for a long time but He led me back into His arms again, and let me experience His everlasting love and grace. If I had to count my blessings, it would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. And I believe everything that had happened didn’t come from my own strength; but all because of God’s love and grace that I could be where I am right now.

2011 was the year I found Sunrise, the church where I believed God had prepared for me for my spiritual growth. It was where I got to truly develop an intimate relationship with God again, and where I got baptized. I was thankful that besides my own real family, I found another family in them. God truly prepared everything in advance! He brought me back to Hong Kong in order to bring me back into His arms again! I was like the lost sheep out of the 100 sheep in the Bible and God never gave up searching for me until He found me again! He gave me a church where I could participate actively and grow spiritually. He gave me a group of supportive brothers and sisters whom I could share my laughter and tears. Until now, this place is still filled with the love and enthusiasm I felt during the first time I came; and I believe this is because we all serve the same master in life – Jesus Christ!

2011 was the year I learned to truly forgive my mother and was my first time to say “I’m sorry” and “I love you” to her. I always thought this broken relationship I had with my mother ever since I was a child would never be mended; but God truly worked wonders in life! He filled my heart with His love, so that I could learn to treat my mother with this Christ-centered love. I always feel that my disobedience to my mother was my greatest sin. But God was merciful, always ready to forgive as long as you repent. He helped me not only to put down my pride and make amend with my mother, He helped me to forgive myself as well. When I put down all the pains accumulated from the past twenty years, I finally experienced the kind of freedom and joy I had always been longing for. God indeed makes the impossible possible! So I will have to proclaim that someday my parents will become Christians too! I always think of it as impossible because my parent’s idolatry is deeply rooted in their lives. But now I’m convinced that God is omnipotent; and nothing is impossible with Him!

2011 was the year I experienced God’s never-ending grace and guidance in my career. God indeed hears and answers prayers! From working on shifting hours to working on normal hours, from my day-off every Monday changed to every Sunday, from my job position as a receptionist to now working in the Sales and Reservation Department… I believe all these things are possible because of God’s grace! When I sincerely and wholeheartedly pray for something, as long as it is according to God’s will, He will find a way to help you achieve it. Sometimes, what God has given you is even out of your expectations! Thus, it’s true when you seek the kingdom of God first, everything else will be given to you!

I can now be certain that nothing else in this world can bring me more joy than serving God! When I choose to follow God for the rest of my life, I have not lost anything, but actually received blessings more than I could ask for. My relationship with my family grows even closer despite the distance, I have friends who truly care for me; I have a job with a steady income, I have a place to live, I am able to eat three times a day… I really don’t think I have lost anything because of my faith. The only thing I have given up is a self-centered life, and finally surrender my life to God!

It’s my honor to be used greatly by God in 2011. I hope the coming year, God will continue to use me to glorify Him. I proclaim that 2012 will be a year of growing deeper in love with God, of counting more and more blessings everyday, of spending more quality time with the people I love, of spreading more love to the needy ones, of achieving bigger dreams in every aspect of my life, and of overcoming my shortcomings and fears!:)

To God be all the glory and praises! Hallelujah!

Today is the ‘first wedding’ of my life! Thank you for all my friends, brothers and sisters who came to witness this very important day of my life!

I have prepared my heart for this day for a long time; like a ‘bride’ preparing her most beautiful and complete self to her ‘groom’.

I am also very grateful that Sunrise gave me this opportunity to become a part of their family. Thank you for allowing me to partake in spreading the Gospel and fighting for God’s kingdom!

No matter what happens, I will never let go of these hands that have held me so tightly from the start. I will surrender my life completely to God. Everyday will be a day of living in God’s great love and grace.  

The vow I made with God today is eternal!

To be honest, I never share a close relationship with my mom. I used to blame her for all the miseries in my life; I used to have so many anger and hatred towards her. Whenever my friends ask me about my mom, I couldn’t explain to them thoroughly the reasons why I dislike my mom so much.

But I know deep in my heart that what I’m doing is bad. I often ask for God’s forgiveness. I always pray that God will give me the tolerance and understanding I need in order to forgive my mom for all the pains she has created in the family. When I was still young and immature, I always think of how badly my mom has treated me, but I never think of the painful words and things I have said and done to her that have caused her deep sorrow too. Although my relationship with her is not as bad as before, but I still never initiate to heal our broken relationship.

Today, as it’s Mother’s Day, I took the courage to tell my mom what I haven’t tell her for a long time, “Sorry” and “I love you.”

To tell you the truth, it’s not easy. I was supposed to just call her to greet her and asked her to take good care of her health. But the message this morning by the pastor was very impactful that I cried from the beginning until the end. Once again, I came before God to ask Him to take away all the anger and hatred I have towards my mom. I wanted to be able to forgive my mom and myself fully.

When I called my mother and said to her, “Happy Mother's Day”, she was surprised, because she had no idea that today is Mother's Day. Then she talked to me about many things, which I have heard a thousand times before. But I still listen patiently to every word my mom says. I know she is just concerned about me.

I was still struggling whether to say or not. Then I finally too the courage and said, "Mom, I'm sorry, I used to disobey you; I have been a bad daughter. Please forgive me. I want you to know that I love you and care so much for you. Then, my mom said,” It’s alright, it’s alright. I don’t blame you for your wrongdoings before. I just want you to listen to what I say and take good care of yourself. After hearing this, my tears drop uncontrollably. Indeed, the love of a mother is so great that it gives her the strength and confidence to do the impossible. I'm like a runaway child; when I go back to my home again, I am not being reprimanded, but instead, being warmly welcomed and embraced.

I'm so thankful God has given me the opportunity to say the things I have no courage to say before. After saying, I feel totally free! And I declare I am happy! Amen!~~

2011-4-21
Dear God,

I thank You Lord for giving me the opportunity to participate in Sunrise's retreat. You know I need this retreat so that my Christian life can grow more.

I also thank You Lord for each member of my cell group (Bessie, Carrie, Celia, Helen, Manni, Natalie, Suki, Vicky, Ying). You know what I'm lacking Lord, so that You give me a group of sisters who encourage me, help me and pray for me. I feel so blessed to be part of them, to be part of the Sunrise family. I find in this world another place where I feel at home, thank You so much!

Tonight is my first experience of the Passover, and through each kind of food present on the table, I was able to understand the significance of this event. You say the piece of bread is Your body, sacrificed for us; the grape juice is Your blood, shed for us, so that we may receive salvation. With this, I give my greatest gratitude. The boiled egg represents our new life. I pray I will use my whole life to obey and serve You. The apple represents a fruitful life. I pray Lord that we will plant good seeds each day of our lives and may all these seeds bear good fruits.

I thank You God for letting me know more about You. May Your Holy Spirit always be with me and give me wisdom to understand more about Your Word.

2011-4-22

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to participate in the workshop led by Dilys. Thank You for speaking to me through her and other brothers and sisters.

Dilys teaches us how to be an influential Christian. What has impacted me the most was when she said that in order to become an influential Christian, we must first build an intimate, strong and stable relationship with God; and we must learn to take away all the things in our heart which Youdoesn’t rejoice. In Sunrise, I witness the importance of reading Bible and prayer, and these are the two things I lack in my Christian life. But I know that in order for me to know You more and get closer to Him, I must begin by understanding His Word. Thus, I pray God You will help me practice the habit of praying and reading the Bible. For it is written in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” I pray I will always put you on the center and first place of my life.

I also believe that there’s no coincidence in this world; everything happens for a purpose. I know there must be a reason for putting me on my present position, because there are things that only I can accomplish because Lord You have created me uniquely. So I pray I will make use of where I am now in order to carry out your Will for me.

We have a washing feet service this afternoon. It was my first time and I was deeply moved the moment someone washed my feet for me. I know Lord through this action, You want to teach us about humility and about serving others. Jesus is the King of Kings, but he is able to humble himself to doing something that only a servant would do; He washes the feet of His disciples. So how come we cannot lower our pride to serve one another? So I ask You Lord to help me have a heart of humility all the time and serve others wholeheartedly. For You have said, when we serve others, we are serving You as well.

Thank You for the drama team this afternoon who were able to portray so excellently Jesus’ dying on the cross. When I saw Jesus’ being whipped, my heart was in deep pain and sorrow. But when I think of the time Jesus’ was experiencing it, I know what I feel is nothing compare to His pain. But I still thank You Lord for making us realize how much You love us; so that all our sins are forgiven with Your son’s suffering. Lord, fill my heart with love; teach me to love myself and others for You have loved us first.

We play a good game tonight wherein we learn the true spirit of teamwork and perseverance. At certain moments, we felt like giving up, but it’s You who gave us strength to finish the task. When we finished building the tower, we were overjoyed! It’s true Lord, it’s always darkest before dawn, but if we hold on just a little more, we will see hope! Thank you for helping us realize this through the game.

2011-4-23

Dear God,

Thank you for the workshop about Bible Reading this morning. Through this course, You once again emphasize to me the importance of starting the day and ending the night with Your Word. I am more determined than ever to develop this habit and immerse it in my daily life, so help me Lord to achieve this. Give me the wisdom I need Lord so that I may know what You want to tell me through Your Word.

Your Word gives me guidance, so that I can start my day with the right mindset and not be led astray.  Your Word gives me strength and courage to overcome all the difficulties I face each day. Your Word provides me comfort and encouragement, so that even when I experience setbacks and unpleasant things in my life, I won’t give up and get frustrated easily. Your Word gives me peace of mind for I know You will protect my family, relatives, friends for me; so that I don’t have to worry about them all the time. Your word reassures me that there is nothing I need to worry about Lord because I already entrust my whole life to You. Thank You!

Although I had to leave earlier due to my work schedule, I was still able to experience you greatly. I left the camping site with a smile knowing that I had brought myself closer to some Sunrise members and most importantly, to You. Lord, there’s nothing I desire more than to be closer to You and to live a life that is pleasing to You. 

Lord, I used to dislike myself so much; I have so many complaints about myself. But now I have learned to love myself, all because of You. You love me first Lord despite my imperfections and sins; and teach me how to accept myself for who I am.

Lord, thank You so much! I praise You and glorify Your name on high! Having You in my life makes me feel everyday is so brand new, so full of joy and hope! I pray I will live a life as a testimony of your great love and grace; so that others may be moved and have the desire to know You. Oh Lord, open their hearts, let them welcome You into their lives! Thank you for listening to my prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

        ‘Black Swan’ is psychologically disturbing, but I love how it disturbs me.

        ‘Black Swan’ tells the story of a young ballerina Nina (Natalie Portman) who is chosen by director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) to dance the dual role of the swan queen (White Swan) and her wicked twin (Black Swan). At first, it would seem her pressure comes from a stressful job, a difficult director who has extremely high standards, and an overprotective mother. But when she meets the new ballerina Lily (Mila Kunis), she grows increasingly paranoid that Lily would take her role as the Black Swan. So she tries to perfect the role of Black Swan, and along the way, she begins to get more in touch with her dark, sensual side that could  probably bring her glory on the stage but destroy her life in reality.

        It’s our nature to be perfect, or to reach for perfection. But along the way, we will always encounter people who seem to excel more than us. But instead of looking at those people as ‘role models’, we tend to look at them as our ‘competitors’ or worse, as ‘enemies’. We see them as stumbling stones that hinder us from reaching our goals. Gradually, we become negatively affected by those people. We are mentally and emotionally troubled. We create illusions of those people snatching away our dreams which cause us to hate those people, believing that the only way for us to get back what we want is to destroy those people. But we never stop to think that perhaps in reality, the illusions we have created are not true. Perhaps those people are not really our ‘enemies’. Just like Nina in the story, most of the scenes we see are her hallucinations; like when she saw Lily seducing the director so that she could play the Black Swan role. Perhaps Lily also desires to play that role, but not to the extent of doing something bad to harm Nina. It’s only Nina who thinks that way.

        Just like Nina who thinks Lily is the reason that causes her life to fall apart, do we also feel that the misery of our life is because of other people? When we choose to think that way, we are putting all the blame on them when something goes wrong. But have we stopped to think about this: the reason other people are making our life miserable is because we choose to; we allow them to do so. No one can make us feel inferior without our consent. Hence, the problem is within us. If we want to live a carefree and successful life, we have to get rid of all our negative thoughts and start thinking of the positive. By doing so, we will not be victims to illusions or to other people. In the movie, if Nina could have realized that earlier; if she could have woke up from her hallucinations, she could have save her own life.

        I do believe that there lives a ‘Black Swan’ inside each of us. At times, we are tempted by it, calling upon us to awaken it. Hopefully, everytime we are trying to awaken that ‘Black Swan’ in us, we will be quick enough to put it into sleep again.

Are you aware that in this modern society,

The pace is getting faster and faster?

Because the world is changing, and is changing rapidly;

We have to walk faster,

Otherwise we will be left behind.

The most practical example is taking the MTR in Hong Kong.

Almost everyone is always in a hurry;

Not a single minute or second can be wasted;

Because when one second is missed,

Ten minutes is spent again to wait for the next ride.

The same applies at work.

As competition becomes tougher,

Our desire to win intensifies.

Sometimes, it’s not that we are not good enough;

It’s just that there are others who are better than us;

Thus putting pressure on us to work harder,

Otherwise we will be eliminated by the society.

When we spend so much time and effort in struggling with the society,

Did we ever try to stop and think,

Is where we are now really the path we want to be,

Or are we simply following the path of others?

The path taken by more people is not necessarily the best;

The path less travelled is not necessarily the worst.

Everyone has a destined path of his own,

A path that suits him.

There is no one path that is better, that is the best;

Only a path that suits you more, suits you the best.

But too often,

We choose to follow where everybody else goes,

Thinking that it is also where we want to go.

It’s just like,

Insisting on wearing the shoes of someone else,

Even if the size does not fit us, even if it makes us feel uncomfortable.

Choosing a path that belongs to us and stick with it is very difficult,

But for me, it’s what we all should learn;

Because only then can we truly be happy.

I do not mind walking slower than others,

As long as I know the path I have chosen is really meant for me.

I do not mind taking the relatively long and crooked path,

As long as I am sure that path will take me to my own patch of sky.